Reporting change like a boss in Task 2

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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

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There are​​ plenty​​ examples of valid role models which lead young generations in their views,​​ the one of them​​ is professional athletes.​​ As a first approximation, it​​ could be an obvious question, there are strong debates arising between​​ who​​ support​​ or​​ oppose this​​ point. In​​ the​​ essay, I will explore both opinions, before drawing my own.

There are​​ numerous​​ examples of valid role models which lead young generations in their views,​​ one being​​ professional athletes.​​ Although, at first glance/appearance,​​ this could​​ seem​​ an obvious​​ statement, there are strong debates arising between both sides. In​​ this​​ essay, I will explore both opinions,​​ before drawing my conclusion.

Since the ancient times,​​ sports have been the path to success for many​​ young boys and girls,​​ giving them glory, respect and social status.​​ Today's athletes are still the​​ icon​​ of power and great capabilities, motivating​​ juniors​​ to be equal to them.​​ Athletes inspired​​ many children with their attitude, demonstrating this, I can mention Lance Armstrong who​​ leaded​​ with his example of overcoming the impossible, beating cancer and setting new world records. This case shows the reason why many parents believe that​​ the sportsman​​ might be a decent​​ pattern​​ for their children.​​ 

Since ancient times, sports have been the path to success for many​​ young people,​​ giving them glory, respect and social status. Today's athletes are still icons/symbols of power and great capabilities, motivating the young generation to​​ follow in their footsteps. Athletes have inspired​​ many children with their attitude. To demonstrating this, I can mention Lance Armstrong who​​ led​​ with his example of overcoming the impossible, beating cancer and setting new world records. This case shows the reason why many parents believe that athletes might be​​ appropriate role models​​ for their children.

The flip side of the coin is a growing number of people who are aware of​​ the sport's way of life with its luxury addiction, a drug-using, and a disrespect to others.​​ With a spreading power of mass media and the Internet, it became obvious that many athletes might not be​​ a valid model as​​ many thought. Recent scandals​​ around​​ sportsman's money and the use of doping showed what is​​ the inside of this life-path, striking​​ the​​ well-formed​​ reputation of athletes.​​ As the result,​​ these events​​ changed​​ minds of numerous people.

The flip side of the coin is a growing number of people who are aware of​​ the way of life which sport requires with its​​ addictions to luxury, drug-use, and disrespect for others.​​ With the rising power of mass media and the Internet, it​​ has become​​ obvious that many athletes​​ may​​ not be the role models we believed them to be. Recent scandals​​ surrounding​​ astronomical salaries​​ and the use of doping​​ have showed​​ the inner world of this life,​​ impacting/damaging​​ the​​ well-established​​ reputation of athletes.​​ As a result, these events have changed​​ the minds of numerous people.

In conclusion, while​​ this role model​​ has both positive and negative​​ sides, I believe that athletes might be an excellent example for​​ young generation​​ in their way of realising their opportunities. Instead of arguing against sportsman's drawbacks, the role of parents and community​​ is​​ to support positive arguments, trying to prevent negative​​ outcome.

In conclusion, while​​ this type of role model​​ has both positive and negative​​ aspects, I believe that athletes​​ are still​​ an excellent example for​​ young generations​​ in their approach​​ to realising their opportunities.​​ Instead of arguing against the drawbacks,​​ the role of​​ parents and community​​ should be to​​ support positive arguments, to prevent negative outcomes.

 

Band score

Task​​ ResponseR

 

Coherence and​​ Cohesion

Don’t miss opportunities to use while/although

 

Although, at first glance/appearance, this could seem an obvious statement, there are strong debates arising between both sides. In this essay, I will explore both opinions, before drawing my conclusion.

Lexical​​ Resource

  • Plenty (of something) . Uncountable & Countable. It’s about resources, it means we have​​ more than enough).  

  • Numerous. Countable. Means​​ many.

  • Several . Countable. Means​​ a few.

 

Valid​​ = (passports, certificates, stamps) - still good!

Justifiable​​ = (reason, argument, action) - we can argue that it’s good.

Respected​​ (person) we respect them​​ 

 

At first glance,​​ = on first appearance, (when we first look at something, this is what we see.

Grammar​​ Response

Missing opportunities to use​​ present perfect to talk about change​​ :

E.g -

  • have showed​​ the inner world

  • With the rising power of mass media and the Internet, it​​ has become​​ obvious​​ 

  • As a result,​​ these events have changed​​ the minds of​​ 

 

Ethical positions:

Don’t forget to use should to say what is right or wrong. Don’t just say things exist.